I hate reunions...

So this Saturday is my 10 year high school reunion and I can't remember the last time I have been so anxious... I remember back in high school I was a total nerd, I was overweight and did not take great care of myself, you know bad hair, drabby clothes etc... needless to say I didn't have many friends - just my core gang. Of the close friends I did have I still talk to many of them and know what each of them is up to in life. I happen to live in the same one horse town I grew up in and still see a few people from high school out and about at Target or Albertsons - however they never stop and say hi to me, and nor do I to them.

Part of me wants to relive my youth and just see how much better I look than all the bald and fat people and show them how thin and successful I have become. Maybe see some other friends I wasn't super close to but still have a desire to see how they came out as adults. The best bonus would be to see the girls that wouldn't give me the time of day; old and worn out from having kids... hmmmm....

Then the other part of me says - I hated high school - people did horribly mean things to me, they wrote things on my backpack, made fun of me and really made me hate myself - why would I want to relive something like that - I wonder what it will be like - all the jocks in one corner, the band people in the other corner and me with all the other yearbook nerds...

The cost is $98 and I have to decide before tomorrow if I will be going. My friend Sarah said prior that she would go also and we could be each others date, but now she is saying that if we go she wants to bring her fiance - I can't blame her for wanting to show him off, however that does leave me dateless - I'm horrified that I will sit alone in the corner getting drunk and leave after a half hour.

I never get nervous about social situations anymore - I can't figure why this is turning my stomach...

ohh what to do? what to do? My friends are absolutely no help - Laurie says "you cant miss something like that" and Nicole says "don't waste your time" thanks guys...